Expectations

Many people, including myself, have experienced a strong sense of unconditional love through our encounters with dolphins.  These serene experiences suggest that the dolphins seemingly unconditional love triggers the release of pent-up emotions and deep seated feelings trapped inside of us leaving us with a sense of well-being.    

Some healers believe that conditional love (expecting something in return) can create exhaustion and depression of the immune system leading to physical vulnerability; whereas unconditional love (without expectations) is a powerful stimulant to the immune system.  If this is so, it is no wonder dolphins appear to be able to help people recover from depression and other illnesses. 

Many of us tend to think we give unconditional love but often it is accompanied with expectations.  We expect things to happen a certain way.  Our family and friends are thrown into the struggle as we expect as much from them as we do from ourselves.  And, when we’ve done all we “should” do, “paid our dues” and “gone the extra mile”, we want guaranteed results and to be treated fairly in return.  Disappointment is always around the corner if things don’t turn out the way we expect. 

Expectations that are unspoken, unrealistic and unmet can cause us to make choices that can be harmful to us and to those we love.  When we assume others can read our mind and know what we need, want, or desire we are setting them up for failure and for future blame.   It seems easier to blame others rather than look inside of ourselves for answers.  In truth, we are the only one who is responsible for getting our own needs met.  We want to practice communicating our needs, wants, and desires clearly, otherwise, nobody involved has a clear idea of what went wrong.  We simply feel confused and powerless.  But no one is doing anything to us we are reacting to our own fear. 

Our expectations don’t make us wrong or stupid.  They make us human.   In most cases we all just want to be understood, respected, and loved and when we don’t feel that way our fear is triggered, things become confused, and we look to others or things to make us feel better.  When we push that responsibility onto others then we have no control because we’ve given our power away.  We have to be willing to take responsibility for our own feelings, our own choices, and that’s where we have the power to change things. 

The good news is that once we begin to identify the expectations that trigger our fear, we will be able to take proactive, self affirming actions to help us get back into our freedom of unconditional love and acceptance of our self and others.  Life is a continuous process of change with challenges at every level of growth.  Fear will always come up, but we’ll get better and better at eliminating the kind of expectations that prevent us from outsmarting and mastering our fear. 

As we accept that our expectations are a part of being human and as we accept that the feelings of fear, sadness, anger, self judgment, and disappointment will come up then those feelings become much more workable.  We recognize that those feelings are just like the weather – always changing, coming and going through our lives.  And what they pass through is the vast spaciousness of who we truly are.  As we become aware we are able to accept, and embrace those negative feelings, learn from their message, and then let go of any identification with them.  Thus allowing them to visit us temporarily, move through us, and then let them go. 

I send you Love and Blessings, Joyce 

I would like to hear your views on expectations and how they affect your life.  

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